I cant believe I am even going to talk about this but I want to be able to look back and see how far our family as grown and tell everyone see we did it!
About a month ago I called Bill at work and said I made an appointment for a life coach that we have used in the past just a couple of times. We haven’t seen him in about 4 years. We went to him to talk about how to deal emotionally with the health issues with Tanner. At one point we were told he has leukemia (which he didn’t they got the test results mixed up with another child that did have it) Then he had a blood disorder if he started to bleed he wouldn’t stop. Bill was kind of confused when I told him that. He said I thought we were doing good. We are honey but I think it would be good to be able to talk to someone like once a month just to get the stress out into the open and hopefully prevent us having any issues. It is very easy for us to grow apart. Its like a 90 percent divorce rate with parents that have special needs. Its like 5 percent divorce rate with parents of multiples. So we only have 5 percent to even make it! LOL
So we had a nice family that has helped us out alot of the past year watch all the kids for us to be able to go. We get there fill out paperwork and then sit down. He asked why are you here. I answered quickly and gave him what our lives have been like and what we have gone thru the past year. I started crying ( I am a very emotionally person) and saying I just want to give everything what they need! The life coach replied and said I hate to say this but you need to give the quints up for adoption. Bill replied that is not an option. Lifecoach responded its not what you want but what is best for all your children. You possible cant give each child what you need. It just plain and simple number wise. I was balling at this point, thinking about what we have over come in the past year. Lifecoach said I worked for the state and there are alot of people that would love to have kids. There are different programs out there, you could even pick out the parents and still have a relationship with them. If you don’t your family will crash and burn. She will end up being in a mentally institution, not one person can take care of 8 kids while you are at work. At this point I am surprised that Bill hasn’t hit this guy in his mouth. I replied I cant give these babies up. What message is this to the older kids. He responded the older kids would understand and the quints when they got older would respect me for wanting more for them. He said OK you cant give them up, we will look at another option but just have in the back of your mind it probably wont work and you will need to think about giving them up. We walked out and I just lost it. Someone thinks that I am not doing a good job. This made me question myself as a parent. Bill got so mad at me why would you let this guy that has never been around our family get you upset. As a woman this is hard to hear about your family that I have worked so hard for! This bothered me for a couple of weeks but now I know I am doing the best thing for our family and that’s all I can do! I will not give up my children and I will work as hard as I can and do the best job that I can possibly do!